Because of Him

In our house we have watched this video over and over. Elanora always wants me to read the words out loud to her. It's hard to get through the whole thing without getting a little or maybe a lot teary eyed.  

 



Our Little Blessing

 

 

Just look at that little Babylove. Man, We all love this sweet girl. On March 2 we were able to bless this little love. She looked beautiful in her blessing dress.

Which just so happens to be the dress I was blessed in and the dress Elanora was dressed in

 

 

 Everly hated the dress and looked mostly like this while wearing this rufflely , cumbersome article of clothing

 

 

  Look at those worried little eyes. This is how I feel in a dress too Evers. Maybe a little less drooly though... maybe.

It was a beautifully, wonderful day. Chris gave the sweetest blessing, even if he forgot what our baby girl's name is. You think I'm joking, nope, true story and a funny one at that.

 

After, we had a nice little luncheon with family.

 

 

(Before the good stuff was actually in the bowls)
My brother and sister think I'm crazy OCD because maybe every one of those empty bowls had a label in it so I would know what food item went in what bowl and where the bowl should be placed on the table. My mom walked into the room right before the luncheon, only to find them mixing everything up, just to drive me crazy. Don't worry, she sent them to their rooms without dessert.

At the end of the night we took some family pictures. This is where Chris gets sent to his room without dessert because most of the pictures looked like this

 

 GRRRR. He made so many crazy faces that I don't have one good picture with us and my mom and dad.

 

 

 With a hard kidney chop from me, we got this one

 

 

We got one good one with his parents and Grandma

 

 

 But before that one, there were a dozen of these beauties

 



Oh, but just look at that sweet baby girl

 

 Could she get any more cute? No way!

 

 



American Idol

Actually I hate that show (note the title of the post...that show). So this post isn't about my undying love for Americas next top idol (Although I have been known to indulge in a little 'America's Next Top Model, shhhh, don't hold it against me).

I have a few people I look up to and respect. People that I think I would one day like to meet. Which, considering I am pretty anti-social and don't always enjoy the company of humans, a few people, in my book is a lot.

I was able to meet see 2 of my idols (that just sounds creepy, right?) when Chris and I went on our 'Horse, Architecture and Beach Retreat'. I write 'see' instead of 'meet' because unfortunately I am a huge anti-social dork with a serious phobia of people, (although I hide it well) and was at an awesome seminar where I got to learn from 2 of my horse training idols. After the seminar, they came out to get pictures with people. I wanted to meet them so bad and get my picture with them but was too much of a wimp and got a picture of them with some other chic. 

 

 

Awesomely sad. I was devastated. Even Chris was a little heart broken for me. 

 

A few months ago Chris came home from a bishopric meeting and said, "Who is you favorite Apostle?" Without a second thought I stated, "Elder Christopherson". Since he was put in to the Quorum of the 12 and has been able to address us at General Conference I have loved every talk I have heard and he has quickly become one of my favorites. Chris then informed me he would be coming to our Stake Conference.

I was ecstatic and could hardly wait to shake his hand and hear him talk...in no particular order.

Would I be brave enough to shake his hand?

 

 Well I definitely was brave enough to stand several feet away, while my friend Vicki inconspicuously took that gem of a picture on her phone. We were laughing pretty hard the whole time, me trying to build my courage to shake his hand. Never fear, I was brave and I shook his hand. Man, Kelli you're so brave!

 

 



Brave

When I was pregnant with Elanora, the only thing that was constant was the way I was feeling and how my body felt, was always changing. I would get used to feeling the wiggly little baby, who was continually moving. Then I would wake up one morning and I would have a strange pain in my side. Nora went from wiggly to kick boxing and a belly that had grown seemingly impossibly more.

 

When we brought the Lil' Miss home I was terrified. I had no idea how to take care of a baby (interesting enough, even though I've gone through this before, I'm still terrified to bring another squishy, little, love home).  Knowing my mothering skills were lacking, how could I be comfortable tackling this crazy new adventure?

 

Lucky for me I had rock steady Chris and a stubborn, determined nature that had resolved to not screw up this beautiful babyface too much. And of course love... ahhh cheesy, sappy parts!  It helped that Chris and I know how to sit back, enjoy the ride and have fun doing it.

 

 

I was unprepared for how much I could love this little perfect angel. How my emotions could be so invested and wrapped up in her well being and happiness.

 

Again, as she changed and grew almost daily from brand new quietly sleeping baby, to colic and acid reflux riddle, seeming to never stop crying, into happiest, smiliest girl in the world, my only constant was change.

 

So, I wonder why in the world would I be surprised yet again for another change, another phase.

 

Nory has an independent streak that has been intact since birth. Never wanting to be cuddled or rocked. Doing everything so early. When I drop her off at my mom's she hardly even waves as she bounces off to the sandbox to make "cakes". Until one day she woke up and decided she was terrified to leave Chris or my sight. Literally one day she could care less where we were and the next, she was crying at my mom's house when I walked from the sandbox to the porch, while Grandpa and her cousin were still in the sandbox. What in the world!

Nursery...yikes! She absolutely loved nursery and could hardly wait the entire week to go back. She sang all the songs everyday. So how sad we were when out of the blue it was the end of the world when we dropped her off.  My cold, cold heart completely broke when I saw the look of terror in her eyes. How could I abandon my baby girl? We couldn't. I wrapped her in my arms and didn't let go.

This last Sunday, Chris and I were more fully prepared. We had a plan. We knew it would be tragic but my little lion heart is brave and would be okay...but would I?

We went to church, business as usual. My heart pounding in my chest. Chris's uneasy face up front. Both knowing what was to come. I silently prayed. I got an answer, it wouldn't be easy but it would be okay. I felt peaceful.

It wouldn't be easy was an understatement. Chris and I dropped her off and instantly the flood gates opened, she reached for us saying, "no nursery". We made the hand off quick and said "we love you baby, have fun in nursery". Then I hid right by the door and listened in anguish as my beautiful baby cried for me. My heart crying along with her. Wrapped in my friends loving arms she cried for 2 minutes, then wanted to play. Not one problem, not one care in the world. All the while I sat in Sunday School and Young women's panicking thinking she needed me, but she didn't. Every time the door would open my worried eyes would watch, making sure it wasn't her. Chris did the same. We were sweaty, ulcer filled parents.

I left young woman's early, to pick her up. She slowly sauntered over, holding a picture she had colored saying, "I colored Joseph Smith" and jabbering about the songs she sang, the toys she played with and the snacks she had. Extremely happy and maybe proud of herself. She did something hard, something scary...My brave little lion heart.

 

 

A Glimpse

    I watched this video earlier in the week. 

   It seems apropos that I wrapped up January with this video. In Young Womens, all of our lessons last month were centered around the Godhead. Naturally my thoughts have been center around Heavenly Father and my relationship with him.

Elder Faust, who just happens to be my favorite apostle said (as seen in the video) "Noble Fatherhood gives us a glimpse of the divine". I have indeed been blessed with many great examples of fathers in my life, all of which have helped me understand my relationship with Heavenly Father a little bit more.

 

Even though I'm somewhat of a responsible adult, I still find great comfort in the support my parents give me. When we had that crazy freezing rain, I was less than confident to drive myself in it and even less than confident to drive with Elanora in the car. At my parents house I was loading her in the car, nervous as all get out, knowing I was responsible to get this beautiful baby home safely. I looked at my dad (as my mom was loading a crock pot of food she had made for Chris and I into the car) and said "Can I do this?" My dads steady eyes locked on mine said "You are a great driver. You can do this, you can do this!" I did. We made it home slowly but surely.

 



Where would I be without this hunky, love of my life? His calm, reliable self brings true peace and happiness in my life. Not too many days ago I was feeling down and out about my lack of ability to produce offspring like a normally functioning woman, when he sent me a text at work that said, "Heavenly Father knows that we make perfect babies and the world can't handle that much perfect too close together. I love you."

Peace, he gives me so much peace.

 

Their love and support pales to that of my Heavenly Father and the love, support, and peace he gives to me. And one day, when the veil is lifted and the memories of the pre-mortal world come flooding back and I get to hug my Heavenly Father, it will be as if I never forgot.

This time on earth is short and sometimes hard. How blessed am I to have a Father to comfort and watch over me, giving me confidence, peace and happiness.