La Leche League Dropout

The lil' boss is almost 8 months now and that cliche that everyone says, you know the one, "they grow up so fast, cherish every moment because before you know it they will be in college." It happens to be true. I almost don't remember having to wake up every 2 hours in the middle of the night, or how hard my sweet baby girl was those first months. You know, the acid reflux, the colic and the 70 different meds we tried...none of which worked.


But I still remember how terrified I was to bring this sweet little thing home. I was never scared about the delivery, I can handle pain. The real terrifying part would be the fact that I was going to have to be responsible for this perfect little girl. I would have to do things like clip teeny, tiny finger nails, bathe her fragile frame without breaking her, clothe her, and feed her.
I'm not delusional, I'm being realistic. I'm fully aware that I'm probably going to screw up this parenting thing. But I wanted to be as prepared to fail as possible.
Before Elanora was born I read a lot of books and took some classes. One of the classes that I took and forced Chris to go to with me was a breast feeding class(can I say breast on this blog?). I wanted to be the best darn nursing mother this side of the Mississippi.
But never in a thousand years could any class prepare me for nursing. Every nurse in the hospital had a different technique, two lactation nurses gave me 2 completely opposite helpful hints.
The day we took the baby home she had only eaten maybe 4 times. I cried all the way home. How in the world could the hospital send me home with her when I couldn't even feed her.
It did get easier, but I never really enjoyed it so much. Some women told me it would be the best experience in my life. Well it was kind of a pain. I always had to be the one to wake up and feed her in the middle of the night. Or if Chris and I were eating, I was the one that had to stop eating and go into the other room and feed the cute, hungry girl. But I stuck with it and I was sure I would make La Leche League proud and feed my baby until she was 3 years old.
Well.... I'm a La Leche League dropout. I made it to a little over 6 months and between nursing in the morning and at night and pumping twice at work, I wasn't producing enough. So Nora now nurses in the morning, sometimes at night and formula the rest of the time.
I'll tell you a secret...I miss it. I never enjoyed it, but now I miss it. And now I change my mind, I loved nursing! Holding, so close, my sweet little girl. I miss it!
Darn it, I'm a Le Leche League dropout.